here's a poem i always wanted to post but didn have the mood to.
now i finally feel the mood.

A hundred ways to say your name
by tania rozario.

I avoid speaking your name in conversation,
throwing it to the air as if it were nothing
more than an assumption of you; it is my last
mode of defence. The last item of clothing
to discard before I realise I’m naked in public.

Because they can hear it in my voice. I know.
Even in that one short syllable that means
everything and nothing; your name is as common
as you are rare. As easy as you are not.
As simple as love should be, but never is.

But when I’m alone, I tie my tongue softly
round the familiar sound, as if pronouncing
with conviction the phonetics of desire
will cause time to pause just long enough
for the earth to hear my naming my loss.


very apt.

feeling somehow raw agn.
gna talk to my pastor tmr
it feels like im gna open up some old wounds that i have so successfully numbed.

as wierd as it seems, i kinda like this raw feeling.
like happiness, when u feel this way, you feel refreshingly alive.
it makes u thk deep and gd.
i dno bout u, but it reminds me to treasure every blossom I see by the roadside.