ytd i went trng despite the sickness
im sry if i made u all worried when i sort of collapsed but
i rly rly feel much better trng den not!
i feel super gd taking my mind off my heart for 3h.
my heart's even sicker than the body.
it needs more rest.

aft that gracie treated me n jun lunch at mos burger.
xmas prez she says.
thanks, that was another time that i was happy.

i thk i shud record how many times did i actually not feel sad every day.

xmas dinner at ryan's hse was awesome.
his new house n seeing the tamtams was someth i looked forward to.
we had turkey, roast beef, pasta, potato salad, seafood soup, chickenwings, salmon cheese and
"mini bread" XD for dinner.
we said a special grace, which involves us saying wad god has blessed u wif this year.
we had a rly fun time of fellowship....
... until i began to drift off agn....

i cudnt slp at night.
agn.
i wonder where i got my energy from.
i m having
trng, orientation,asean,church, housework,excessive thking of what ifs and what wud happen ifs,
proposal for telematch, proposal for sch tour and proposal ympact care team, instruction sheet for SM for telematch, instruction sheet for OGL for tele, instrcution sheet of SM n OGL for sch tour., msging ppl to tell them to check their emails..

for the past week it was almost past 2am every night n waking up at 730am.
for the past month it felt that i hv nv rested.
either i don realise that im tired, or i hv super human strength.
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leaders retreat today was all good until ...
but thru it all, thru the prayers n the bible study
i m reassured that god is with me.
thanks fel, rach, Lz
n all those who prayed for n comforted me.

decided to flip open my QT material which is rusting in a corner.
i hv been praying alot but my bible n QT is untouched,
tgt with all my schwork.

devotion for dec 26:
is titled sleepless nights.
"he who keeps israel will neither slumber or slp. the lord is ur keeper,
he will keep u from all evil; he will keep ur life. "psalm 121:4-7

Jesus had sleepless nights too when he was about to make an impt decision b4 choosing his disciples and the night before he was caught.

it goes on saying, on those slpless nights when u wrestle wif decisions or need a eminder that god's in contril,
follow wad jesus did,
seek your Father in those silent hours.

Rest easy; the Lord will stay up.

with this i will get over tonight.
i will worry about tmr's night, tmr..


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someth for jun..
no matter wad the outcome is,
god has his plans.
no matter how we feel like we're better off not living.
we've got to trust him.
cuz who else knws us better than our creator....

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