I went to a talk about how to aid suicidal youths last saturday...

When the speaker, auntie yoke lin, talked about the psyche of a suicidal youth,
the unbearable psychological pain, "more pain than physical pain"
the tunnel vision, "cant see any alternatives because of the pain they are experiencing"
the hopelessness,
the lonliness...

i could totally understand how they felt.
the unbearable psychological pain is more than a knife slicing your heart,
its a thousand draggers piercing thru...
the tunnel vision has no light at the end of the tunnel.
it feels like nothing you have ever done, nothing you are gg to ever do can make your heart joyful.

it's so painful that although u donwna die...
you cant bear to live..

that talk last saturday reminded me of how vulnerable i was,
how broken i was,
and most importantly,
how grateful i was to God who picked up the broken pieces of my heart.

"blessed are those who mourn for they shall be comforted."

I remember trying sleeping, eating, not eating, talking to frens, follwing my mum around, running at midnight, watching comedies.

Nothing worked.
I was more depressed by day.
I woke up in the middle of the night because my dreams were so melancholic...

God was my last hope.
with the remaining breath i have,
i surrended my entire being to God.
I trust that he loves me, and he has a plan for everyth.

And God did not disappoint me.
God's mini doses of bible verses and encouragement was wad held me on.

" I will never leave you, I will never forsake you."
" You are fearfully
and wonerfully made.."
"I will wipe every tear fro your eyes..."
"He cares for you...."
"Do not be worried about anything...."

When we come running to God with our empty hands and empty hearts,
God will fill it up. Slowly, he will take reshape our hearts, re colour our hearts,
mould it into wad he intended it to be when he created us.


I was so dependent of men, God taught me how to depend on him.
He also showed me how Man's love will fail, but His love will never fail.
And that Only His love can bring me true peace and joy.
(and it overflowss =) =) )

back to the auntie yoke yin...
Auntie yoke yin taught us that how to pick up hints of suicidal thking,
what to say, what not to say,
" never give solutions,
never talk down to them,
never dismiss their troubles,
never ask "you must be joking right? you won do it one hor?"

what we could do to help is simple.

Be very sincere and genuine!
emphatize!
do not dismiss what they are feeling,
the hurt is very very very real...
and that hurt blinds them from the light at the end of the tunnel..

Be that pair of hands that remove the blindfold from their eyes.
(and if need be, that includes bringing them to see a pastor or doctor!)
Show them God's love!
Share with them your experience and how things turned out not as bad as you imagined it to be! ( yeah,i could never have thought that the devastation turned out to be the best thing that happened to me)

Keep praying for them!
just like how my frens prayed for me =)