April 30, 2014

You dance over me. You rejoice over me with singing =)



The dancing violinist. 

When i see Lindsay play her violin, i can imagine a child of God basking freely and happily in God's tender-loving presence. And God is pleased. He is also rejoicing over her with singing =)

So amazed by her talent and the joy in her that overflows =)

Can't help but praise God for such beauty and form i see in her life! =)

And I thought, wow as we discover and perfect God's bestowed talents in our lives, however small, and use it to glorify him, it does more than warm hearts but it stirs people's heart to praise our God in heaven, the giver of such incredible ability and beauty.

Zephaniah 3:17The LORD your God is with you, the Mighty Warrior who saves. He will take great delight in you; in his love he will no longer rebuke you, but will rejoice over you with singing." 

Psalm 13913 For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. 14 I praise youbecause I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. 15 My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, 16 your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be. 17 How precious to me are your thoughts, O God! How vast is the sum of them! 18 Were I to count them, they would outnumber the grains of sand. When I awake, I am still with you.

How can I use all that you fashioned in me to please you, O God, that you will be delighted? 
 How may it be a sweet perfume, rising up to heaven?

January 28, 2014

A tribute to my aunt who loved me unconditionally

My aunt Isabelle is much larger than life. For even though she is now in heaven, her presence
seems to fill my waking moments!

I remembered her today when my bus 60 passes the coffeeshop where we used to
meet for lunch. The image of her sashaying past the pao shop, touching her hair as she goes, lost in her own little world, is vivid in my mind.
She'll sit down in a little corner with her little pouch on her hand.
Oh, I see myself and Esther (my sister) walking to meet her! And there she will be,
waving madly with a wide grin on her face =) She always have this wide grin on her face =')
I'm sure all who have known her have felt her hospitality and warmth,
she is never slow to offer her smiles and care =) 

Then, I pass by an ice cream shop. My heart is tugged as I recalled that fateful afternoon
in her hospice where she offered to share her chocolate caramel magnum with me.
With a great big grin she tells me how she was in the presence of God.
"I had breakfast with Jesus today. It was so awesome." For someone who had been
so selfless in giving and sharing out of the little material possesions
(and great spiritual treasures), it must be awesome to finally retire at the breakfast table
with Jesus. Jesus must have invited her for breakfast and given her a foretaste of what
it feels like to dine with him for eternity! 

This is a tribute to my Aunt Isabelle who loved me with an unconditional love.. .

My aunt Isabelle is the aunt who fed me, physically when I was a baby and then
emotionally and spiritually until I was 23. She fought fiercely for me and believed in my
worth unconditionally. She was the one who said that boys that have hurt my heart
arnt worth my love and tears =) She is the aunt who even though was stricken with
 terminal cancer would walk bus-stops to visit me when I'm down with flu,
or nursing from a wisdom tooth operation.
Weak she is, but loads of gifts of fruit juice and jellys she brings!
(My uncle and aunty who gives her her allowance know where her money runs to now!)
 My uncle said even though my kindergarten class would end at 3pm,
she would be at the gate at 215pm, so that I would see her once school ended.

 Though many people might despise her for her past medical conditions and sometimes
 annoying behaviour, I would think how blessed I am to be loved by someone this much,
 this unconditionally.

My aunt Isabelle is also the aunt whose bible is engraved in her heart and so intertwined
with her ordinary speech that life and encouragement springs out of her so naturally.
I remembered when I experienced a terrible breakup 6 years ago,
she was there to feed me porridge, her words shone in my downcast heart," Put your
trust in God, not in men, for men will disappoint you, but God will never disappoint you."
Those words are the beacon of light and hope that shone through the darkest of skies.
And I clung on to God ever since, and He has never failed me =)
And to think my aunt still whispered on my birthday, 5 days before she passed on,
Dinah, I have nothing to offer you...!! What a thing to say !! I told her that she
offered me not only her unconditional love for 23 years of my life, but also up till 
the last prayer we made together 2 days before her passing, 
she pointed me beyond herself, to someone she knew that could love me far greater, God. This is my aunt who at her death bed implores me toTrust... God... Always.

I really enjoyed sleeping at her bedside in the last weeks of her life. Even then,
she looked out for me. She would touch my forehead, sweep my fringe frm my face,
cup my face in her hands and whispers, "Dinah... Take care ah Dinah..."
" You are a very beautiful girl, I love you very much leh, Dinah..In her breathlessness
she would utter prayers for other people in the hospice, in her 2 hour vigil prayer
when I struggled to stay awake she would whisper prayers for Gabriel and I,
and everyone she knew, pleading with God that He would take care of us. She was a
woman of unwavering faith in Jesus, telling us that she would be happy to go whenever
God would take her and she clutched at the wooden cross till her last breath.
She was such a blessed woman, who knows not only in the head but full well in her heart
 that Jesus had the power to save her and in Him she had found her refuge! And how
much peace does her peace brings to us!

Recalling what I wrote in my diary when my aunt was first admitted to the hospice
Now as I lay in bed, there's this bitter feeling deep in my heart as I think of the x times
she would call me in a day, "Dinah.! ( and going on an on telling me all her stories). ”
But now she would never call me again =(  I really do yearn for her to call and nag at me again!. I am missing someone dearly !”

Lo and behold! That night my phone rang. What a joy to hear " Dinah.! I'm fine...".
I thank God that she still could call me, the very next day and many days after.
And I am so glad that I could tell her that I love her whenever she called. It was a closure for me to receive her calls even if it was in the middle of the night! 

I remember fondly, the hymns that we sung together deep in the night where I stayed
over at the hospice. Some hymns will never be the same again.
How much more powerful and hopeful is singing hymns with someone
who is suffering and dying ! Truely, what a friend we have in Jesus,
ALL our sins and grieve to bear. What a privilege to carry,
EVERYTHING to God in prayer.

I will remember to tell a tale of her love, courage, faith and hope to my children
and grandchildren. A woman of faith acted out in love and impacted so many lives.
She blessed her ward, her devotion compels me to visit, pray and love for them with her
and as a result so many more are blessed. 

I tried my best to cherish the last moments with her, but of course there are real, deep
regrets like why I didnt I tell her I loved her when the nurse called on her behalf the last night before she passed? I took it for granted that I could see her again the nxt day.
Should I have been distracted to care for another patient in the nearby ward the last night
I visited her?
But I realised if she was my aunt who loved me with that unconditional love,
nothing would make her love me less =) Furthermore she is in the best place
she can ever be now, under the best ever love and care =)

Two days before she passed she had told sister Eucharia that Jesus had already
prepared a place for her in heaven =) And I believe with my whole heart she is so.
So this I shall remember, though it may be my loss to be separated from someone
who loved me unconditionally, it is her great gain to be with Christ! So I shall rejoice! Furthermore, this separation is only temporary =)
This great person is not lost to the dust forever, but I shall see her in glory again =)

Loving you always and will reserve the I love youI owed you on the 19/1/2014 
till I see you again,


My deepest thanks to all the nurses and sisters who went more than what their job
called them to be. Thanks for loving my aunt and providing her with the best care.
Thanks to the nurses who were with her at the very end! What a comfort to know
that my aunt went into paradise with people who loved and cared for her and held
on to her hand.

Thanks to sister Eucharia who visited my aunt and assures her every
day, who my aunt regards as most holy and full of love of God. Thanks to Florence as
well, for your abundant love and all the little things you do for my aunt. which
overflowed to my aunt, myself and also my little carollers =)
Thanks to doctor Joseph Ong, whom I have yet to meet but heard so much about
your loving kindness and gentleness towards my aunt. I hope to meet him and thank
personally tmr as I bring my new year goodies to the hospice. 

Thanks to uncle Michael and aunty Audrey, wout whom my aunt would not have
such a lovely place to prepare herself with so much joy and peace before she meets
God. Thanks for ur love and care that is so clearly seen through your eyes.
 Im sure she felt it. And your two little 'faiths' are really two bundle of faiths and joy
 to my aunt and my family =)

Thanks to all my friends Huili, Angeline, Gen, my sisters' friends and my uncle and
aunty's friends, who came down with gifts and prayers for my aunt. And not forgetting
all those who prayed for her and my family throughout this period of time. Daryl im sorry
I cant find your pics, but thanks for accompanying my sister through it all. I hope
you are blessed by my aunt =)

Thank you Evelyn, for loving my aunt so graciously these 5 years, but even more
caring for my uncle and my family as well.

Thanks to my little carollers, your tears have melted my heart. Im sure the patients
have felt the joy and hope of christmas.

Thanks also to Andrew and Jeffrey who helped us so much. Who would think that
one could love a stranger so much and would call her dear sister?

Lastly, Gabriel, thank you for loving me and knowing that I had to be with my aunt alot those weeks. Looking at the ring on my finger, apart from remembering your pledge of love, I would never forget the wide grin on my aunt's face when she heard of the news 
of our engagement. Thank you, for having it happen for my aunt to see of it. 
Truely my best birthday ever =) 
Such a memorable day that is sweeter with every passing moment. I  knew it was her wish to see my sister and I on our wedding day, to see us walking down  the aisle blissfully, to help us take care of our kids, and to be with us to celebrate our  every birthday, but I know she will be seeing better things now =) 

Thankyou God,
the author of life, and giver of hope,
who make everything beautiful in your time.

Your grace is sufficient for me


I sat by my aunt’s bedside and watched her sleep quietly, my aunt has strengthened my faith
once again.Suffering from terminal cancer is scary. Currently she’s having trouble breathing
and her back hurts so much. I developed a sore neck just by lying beside her for 1/2h, how much more would lying there for 2 weeks be?I thought how dreadful it would be if it was me lying there. 
How lonely and long the night will be, will there be people by my side to soothe the pain? 

Yet today as I look into my aunt’s face, I saw God’s grace. “My grace is sufficient for you,
my strength is made great in your weakness.” My aunt is able to sleep with the Lord’s peace
and she will wake up smiling probably and giving me a big hug. 

The Lord’s grace allowed her to rest and the Lord’s grace will allow me to rest.
God’s grace will strengthen me in times of trials, God’s grace will allow me to pull through
excruciating pain, God’s grace will comfort, even when I pass through the valley of the
shadow of death, God’s grace will lead me home.

Seeing my aunt suffer helped me believe that I too can overcome the sickness
and the fear of death - with God’s grace.

God loves His child and today I looked into the face of God’s precious child.
I am too His child and He too shall extend His grace to me in my every hour of need.

God’s grace have been sufficient throughout this year;
God’s grace will be sufficient for me throughout my life =)

Oh death, where is your sting?

My aunt has gone home with the Lord one week ago, and I want to share how Im blessed by this great woman =)

From my diary entry

Joni Eareckon Tada 2009I have to remember that the core of God's plan is to rescue me from sin, even up till my dying breath. My pain and discomfort are not his ultimate focus. He cares about these things, but they are merely the symptoms of the real problem.         God cares most, not about teaching me to hate my transgressions and to keep growing in the grace and knowledge of Jesus. God lets me continue to feel sin's sting through suffering while I am heading for heaven, constantly  reminding  me of what I am being delivered from, exposing sin for the poison it is.

Like Joni, my aunt’s sickness taught me many things.

  1.  The joy to be able to look heavenwards in sickness
  2. Reminder of what Jesus’ death will ultimately deliver us from- pain, suffering and death --the poisons of sin. Surely great is the joy of being released from the sting of sin when we see Jesus face to face!
  3. How even in suffering, we could care for others. How even in the midst of suffering she could
    radiate joy to my heart and the hearts of others.
Dear Lord, may I exhibit a faith like my aunt's. In pain, suffering and death, may I be a light unto the

So we do not lose heart. Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day, For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison. 
 2 Corinthians 4:16-17

January 13, 2014

A woman who fears the Lord is to be praised

It has been another year and 3 months since I've written.

So much has changed! The change within sharpens and dulls the same material world the eye sees.
Was such a struggle to let go of many things I've learnt, to strain to learn so many things I didnt know but I should have!

What does it mean to be a woman? What are her roles, what are her resposibilities? What does it mean to love another as yourself? What is so precious about submission? What does it cost to really follow Jesus?

"Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth to God." 1 Peter 3:3-4

Amidst life storms she can gracefully glide the tides because she has an unwavering hope and confidence placed squarely on God and His promises. And there she can be, amidst the tyranny of the tides, a place of refuge and rest for her family because she knows who is in-charge. She is quieted in God's love and brings this serenity to others. 
"Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised." Proverbs 31:30.

So much to learn! Still much of my old self and habits to let go and much to embrace! This is an exciting journey of discovering what it means to be a woman and pursuing after what is really beautiful in God's sight =) 

Women were told that they ought to get out of the house and do something "fulfilling". They listened, and many discovered what men cold easily have told them: that by no means is fulfilment to be found in any jog -- in ditch digging or in the office of a CEO -- any more than in the kitchen. I knew that real satisfaction and joy comes in response to an acceptance of the will of God and nowhere else.      -Elisabeth Elliot 
May I desire God and find my full satisfaction in Him alone. May all things else, marriage and family included, serve the greater purpose of bringing us closer and closer to knowing God and loving Him =)

Philippians 3:7-11 But whatever gain I had, I counted as loss for the sake of Christ. Indeed, I count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For his sake I have suffered the loss of all things and count them as rubbish, in order that I may gain Christ and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which comes through faith in Christ, the righteousness from God that depends on faith— 10 that I may know him and the power of his resurrection, and may share his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, 11 that by any means possible I may attain the resurrection from the dead.

October 18, 2012

Good afternoon world!

Wow it's been more than a year since i've last post!
And why is it that im free to do so?

Cuz im on an exchange and i am already back in my hall, and my dinner has alr been settled!
(It was a feast of xiao lao bao, pizza and bake rice, and i paid less than $10)

The best part is that.....
Everything has been accomplished before 6pm!
I have the luxury to play basketball and jog around the track with Gabriel,
we even has such a wonderful maple syrup toast breakfast!
I had time to worship God w my ukelele,
had time to recap on my sign language,
and WALK to my spanish class!
Not to mention i had washed and hanged my clothes and swept the floor!!

Oh how wonderful it is to be able to have a day's chores completed with such peace and joy before the sun comes down!
And it enables me and spurs me to think and pray for ppl and my ministries!!!!
It allows me to stop and think of whom shall I send an encouragement msg for!!!

Spore's pace of life is really tooooooOOOOoooOOOoo fast,
shall we make bricks wout straw?

I found a my draft, dated a year ago ! Decided to complete it!

This is dedicated to all my single brothers and sisters who are waiting for their true love
to Gabriel, whom God has brought me to him, to love and to care;
and to be loved and to be cared for =)
May we grow through joys and trials to come,
to be a blessing to others to the glory of God!
Happy belated one year anniversary!

Click to enlarge!


Was meditating on Genesis 24 today.
I am so touched by how God can arrange something so beautiful if we let Him.
12 Then he prayed, “LORD, God of my master Abraham, make me successful today, and show kindness to my master Abraham. 13 See, I am standing beside this spring, and the daughters of the townspeople are coming out to draw water. 14 May it be that when I say to a young woman, ‘Please let down your jar that I may have a drink,’ and she says, ‘Drink, and I’ll water your camels too’—let her be the one you have chosen for your servant Isaac. By this I will know that you have shown kindness to my master.”
15 Before he had finished praying, Rebekah came out with her jar on her shoulder. She was the daughter of Bethuel son of Milkah, who was the wife of Abraham’s brother Nahor. 16 The woman was very beautiful, a virgin; no man had ever slept with her. She went down to the spring, filled her jar and came up again.
17 The servant hurried to meet her and said, “Please give me a little water from your jar.”
18 “Drink, my lord,” she said, and quickly lowered the jar to her hands and gave him a drink.
19 After she had given him a drink, she said, “I’ll draw water for your camels too, until they have had enough to drink.” 20 So she quickly emptied her jar into the trough, ran back to the well to draw more water, and drew enough for all his camels. 21 Without saying a word, the man watched her closely to learn whether or not the LORD had made his journey successful.
22 When the camels had finished drinking, the man took out a gold nose ring weighing a beka[c] and two gold bracelets weighing ten shekels.[d] 23 Then he asked, “Whose daughter are you? Please tell me, is there room in your father’s house for us to spend the night?”
24 She answered him, “I am the daughter of Bethuel, the son that Milkah bore to Nahor.” 25 And she added, “We have plenty of straw and fodder, as well as room for you to spend the night.”
26 Then the man bowed down and worshiped the LORD, 27 saying, “Praise be to the LORD, the God of my master Abraham, who has not abandoned his kindness and faithfulness to my master. As for me, the LORD has led me on the journey to the house of my master’s relatives.”

God sent forth an angel to prepare Rebekah's heart (v7),
and Rebekah turned out to who Abraham, Isaac and his servant was praying for.
I thk Rebekah and her family shud have been praying for Isaac as well.

click on this link to read the whole beautiful love story

Did God sense that you're incredibly lonely and discouraged like Isaac after his mother's death & sent me to be by your side to comfort you (v67)?

I really felt your anguish ytd.
When i looked into your eyes, i saw the pain and frustration from your army days.
Praise God that He preserved your purity & your heart towards Him.
Praise God that you're not butter & filled with hatred for the world.
Praise God that you've learnt to rely on Him for strength and hope.
Praise God for you, man of God.

I pray that the Lord will heal your wounds!
May the Lord's everlasting and all encompassing love enable you to love and forgive those who hurt you.